Hormone Withdrawals

This may sound ridiculous, but I was on injections for about a month, then abruptly stopping because you are not pregnant, well damn, feels like I got hit my a truck. I also have so much anger….maybe some part in I am not pregnant / hormones/ anger towards my doctors.

Let me explain. It has been 4 days since I got the call that I am not pregnant and I was okay, disappointed, but okay. The doctors explained to me that they too were very confused, I had two perfect embryos going in. She went on that I can try for a frozen transfer in a month. (After my next period) The hormones will completely be gone from my body and my ovaries will be back to normal size. During my month off, they want to do a hysteroscopy or something to check the inside of my uterus…which I am sure will be fine. (also why wasn’t this done before my first IVF)  However, the one thing that got me, that has been stuck in my mind for 4 days, and that has getting me more and more pissed off by the day was that the doctor said that A LOT with fresh transfers (stimulating ovaries then putting in embryos the same month) your hormones are so high from stimulating your ovaries and are so unnatural that it can actually impact implantation. My numbers were high – and I mean close to OHSS high – so my body was literally like what the fuck is going on. I began to research this a little because i was like, meh women get pregnant with fresh transfers.

I started researching (only legitimate studies, med journals and stuff) and literally right there in black and white that if you’re so insanely stimulated like i was and had 26 eggs grow it could severely impact the uterine lining and implantation. I was like – what in the hell, why wasn’t I even told that this could even have been possibly a risk? I would have froze them all and put them back in a month! It would have been no big deal. So I keep reading and reading and same thing – your estrogen is 1000x normal amount which severely impacts uterine lining. Idk. I may be crazy – but I think this is why I am not pregnant – and I just wish I KNEW THIS before the disappointment of a failed cycle.

Well – my advice to you people out there – if you’re insanely stimulated and create so many eggs – realize that your body is in shock and may not be able to implant the embryos. Freeze all cycles from now on!

What is good is my period is finally starting and I am kind of coming out of the funk I have been in. A month break….ugh

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