IVF Injections Countdown: 4 days

…..I start injections in four days. Four. 4. Four. I know, as if repeating myself will change anything but its four days. For the last 10 days or so, I have been on the birth control pill, I guess to suppress any hormone activity and give my body a chance to be on a schedule that works for the treatment center. Well, I took my last pill today…and I have my three-four hour appointment at the center on Thursday (2/5/18). Apparently I will be there for a long time for initial blood work, ultra sound, and going over the medications. This will probably be the longest appointment through out the entire process (aside from the surgery)

Well speaking of medication, the HUGE box that was delivered to my house was the most overwhelming thing I have ever seen. I thought doing 3 total injections was bad, this is going to be 3 injections daily for 8-10 days. The amount of medication sitting on my dining room table / in my refrigerator is absolutely insane. It was an actual pharmacy that was delivered. I mean its scary to look at, but having injections in previous months (GONAL – F for an IUI) I know it wont be awful. However this is 100x the amount of medication. Will I have those intense headaches? probably. Will I turn into the Hulk if a student forgets a pencil? More than likely. Will I gain weight? was literally the first thing the doctor warned me of, so yes dammit. Will it be a lot to deal with and uncomfortable? I am sure of it, but I can do ANYTHING for 8 days, especially to have a child. I will power through whatever is coming my way.

Here is a little side note – the medication cost was about $9,000. I got the most amazing beautiful call from the Pharmacy in NJ and they said INSURANCE WAS COVERING HALF. The tech was literally like, we never see this, this is so unusual ESP from Tri Care, and I am going to send you everything and charge you now before anyone asks questions. She was looking out and I couldn’t have had appreciated it more 😛

Anyway back to what I was talking about. I am so ready to do IVF. I have never been this excited or hopeful in our journey to become parents. I never ever felt like this for IUIs, ever. IUIs have shitty chances, just like conceiving naturally. (and yes of course women get pregnant when they sneeze or IUI works for them, but statistically its shitty.) I am also terrified of being so excited because the let down if it doesn’t work will be 100x worse than IUI because I kind of am expecting it to work. My head and my heart are constantly battling each other like in my heart and my gut, i know it’ll work, but my head is like slow down betch you really never know. I guess were going to have to see.

Let this journey begin! and You can count on me to be brutally honest about the whole process just in case you may have to go through the same thing one day 😛

TWW got me like…

When trying to conceive, the two week wait is the two weeks from when you ovulate to when you can take a pregnancy test. Usually 14 days past ovulation, its a 99% accurate positive or negative. However, most women never know when they ovulate but, I have know down to the hour – I think thats pretty cool.

Before I saw the fertility doctors, the two week wait was torture. I would analyze every symptom and google it for reassurance. My boob hurt for 1 minute…could I be pregnant? My obsession for every little cramp, twinge, and pull in my uterus became so overwhelming! I was driving myself crazy to always get a negative test.

Now, after 19 negative pregnancy tests, I do not care about the symptoms…ESPECIALLY now that I am on the evil hormone progesterone. The extra Progesterone makes you bloat, boobs hurt, tired, moody, emotional….everything you can think of….which makes you believe that you could be pregnant. Then it also makes your period late too, until you stop taking it. Its not nice!

The real MVP in all of this is my poor husband. He deserves a medal for dealing with my mood swings. We could literally be sitting there and Ill either start crying or yelling for no reason, all the while thinking like this has to be the hormones, calm yourself. Then I would be fine 4 minutes later. I have to remember that he is on this roller coaster with me and it effects him just as much as it effects me. (emotionally, not physically) Without him, this journey would absolutely suck. When I am sad, he makes me happy. When I am anxious, he calms my nerves. When im hopeless, he gives me hope. He is just the best.

So to all my ladies out there in the two week wait…I am with you. We got this. Stay busy. Go for a walk or have a glass of wine, whichever you prefer 😛

New Month, NEW MEDS!

INJECTIBLES! I have graduated from only Clomid to now Clomid and injectibles. I truly never thought in my life that I would be here, but here I am, and its not as bad as I thought it was.
When the doctor informed that this was the next step after a third failed IUI, I was SO nervous. I did not know what to expect. For some reason, I thought injectibles made people crazy and hormonal and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to deal with it. (I mean if something made me more cray than I was on Clomid, we were in trouble).  But I decided to dive head first because…well why not?  When I got the call from this special Pharmacy, they were like ok we have your order that’ll be $500. I was like damn, not even going to ease me into it. But alas, I paid and the next day it was like a hospital was delivered to my house.


What comes in this huge box is 7 needles, a pen, a box to put your garbage I guess, and a packet of directions that was like an inch thick. THANK GOD MY DAD IS A PHARMACIST because i called him probably 40-50 times in a 2 day span asking questions about how to take this damn drug. Thankfully, it seemed scarier than it was. The big day arrived where I had to inject myself and I was so nervous i was going to screw it up. Turn that dial to 75 and press the button in my skin for 10 seconds, and it was over. Besides some slight burning sensation, it was fine and thankfully i have had ZERO side effects.

Taking these meds are no joke. After every shot, you need to go to the doctor the next morning to get blood work and an ultrasound. Then based on those results, the doctor calls you that afternoon to tell you when to take your next dose. Those people really have it down to a science, and I actually really appreciate them all and how hard they work. I will keep you updated on how my results go!